it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
