yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have aggressive nipples.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
