he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Bring me that man meat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
