no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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