babies were throwing up all over the place
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
