I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
