at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
