I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
