You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
