So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
