what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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