There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My life is pants optional.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
