New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
