That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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