I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
