whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
