I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
