I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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