you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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