I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
