i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
