i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You can't special order awesome
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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