pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
