Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
