Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
