i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
