hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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