Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
