my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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