Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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