I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
