He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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