hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
