Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
