Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
