Please, let me fuck your mom
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
