I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
