i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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