I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
