normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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