I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
