She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
