Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

So drunk its hurt

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(530): View more from California

i'm lost and i look like a hooker

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(519): View more from Ontario

So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.

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(480): View more from Arizona

He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.

(602): View more from Arizona

Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.

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(714): View more from California

I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

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(716): View more from New York

Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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(630): View more from Illinois

There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store

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(+49): View more from Germany

i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen

(+49): View more from Germany

it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise

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