Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
