I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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