I want to stick my p in your. b.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
