if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
