he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
