he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
