Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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